A recent email from a male reader drew my attention to something that may be off the radar of many wives. Husbands — at least most and definitely the unselfish ones — truly enjoy it when their wives have an orgasm. He may not be the top dog at work, he may not have the fastest car, he may be losing what little looks he had to begin with, his hair may be falling out while his gut is getting bigger, but if his honey loves him enough to occassionally put a few scratches on his back in the heat of passion, he will still feel like the king of the world. Because he can please his woman. It shows him that you actually want to be there. Some wives think that for sexual intimacy to be fulfilling for a husband, he simply needs to have an orgasm.
I am about to do what was once upon a time unthinkable for me: praise the training that is orgasm control. Giving up control of my orgasm was one of the very first pieces of submission I offered my husband. We started transitioning from a vanilla, egalitarian marriage to a kinky one and it was one of the first "ideas" about Dominance and submission he had come across in research. At the time we were beginning submission in only the bedroom - which I think is a very common first step for those starting out. It began with "I want you to try to wait for me to tell you to come when together" to "You need to ask permission to come when you're masturbating as well" to "This is now what we do always forever and ever.
I want to write and share some exciting first steps that have happened for us my wife and me on the path of deepening sexual intimacy. The discussions in this forum, and particularly the inspiration of my friend Hotspring, have been very helpful. I don't feel we are 'there' yet, and haven't really started working intentionally on exercises.